AA CARES

Asian American Collective Action for Racial Equity and Solidarity at San Francisco State University

These are a collection of poems written by participants of the 2023 NorCal UVSA’s Leadership Conference Summit XV and the 2024 APAHE Conference Panel on “A Moment to Heal in Support of Students, Their Mental Health, and Success,” hosted by Asian American Collective Action for Racial Equity and Solidarity (AA CARES).

  • This gut feeling inside my stomach, Creeps my mind with worries. Worries about their safety When I am home alone. This aching heart of mine Triggers the trauma my dad carried vaguely As he spoke words with his broken tongue When he laughed alone. This closeness I have never felt This separation I have never felt When I see hate against my ancestors On a random social media post We are all alone individuals Whosee power have been suppressed By this heavy generations of trauma As we kept it quiet And swept it away Because we have never truly come together. So can we please not be alone?

    Entry 15: “Alone?”

    -Riva Timalsina

  • For the generation to come, To our future leaders, We, our people, Hone our voices cut off. For the people that brought us here Create a legacy for those who are oppressed By the same government The same people who swore That we would be protected Affected by the police brutality As well as the hate crimes We as people come together Just like Cesar Chavez, Larry Illions We made history, we helped build That's what Dawn Mabalon would say

    Entry 18: “Support, Hate, Love, Voice, Oppressed”

    -Rachel Laygo

  • Tokenized and sexualized That is all I grew up knowing In Elementary School I was tokenized and put on a platform But that platform caused more hate The better I did in school The worse the bullying got More comments about my eyes About eating dogs Making fun of who I am In middle school Is when the fetishization of my race began My race was seen as “exotic” In a town of whites and latinx I was the outlier Sexualized because of my race Why doesn’t anyone want me for me Why am I either tokenized or sexualized Why does my identity exist only in those Two categories? Why does it feel like my “asian-ess” Is always being measured by people who Do not understand my experiences Tokenized or Sexualized Why is my race always being used Against me?

    Entry 13: “Poem is the Part with the Stars “

    Mikhaila- Jol Tamon dong

  • There is only so much You can do through a screen Being stuck in your room Somewhat begging to be seen While trying your best to fight for those who You could hear their screams Echo beyond the scene Through reposting media And leaving away those who wont fight for the same In the process, it made me feel insane Listening to my mom beg, My Filipino grandparents to be careful going to the local mall Remembering the warnings the media had showed us all Being grateful to be made up of such beauty heritage Blood from Filipino and Fijian blood alike It should never be concealed Being feel hopeless for what the world has become Feeling such lack of control for the protection that we were promised That fall victim to the stereotypes and crimes the media and society mobly Oblige by While those who wanted to live their daily life Are forced to say goodbye

    Entry 5

    -Anna Raj

Anthology

“
They say we all look alike
Future so bright for all those with our
Skin… our relative kin
Can’t win in the round eyes of hate
Smothered in patriotism
No debate to the depth of dis-love shoved on those that wish to create harmony
They say we don’t love then…We are them
I know the sting of being called “dorkie” in the midst of a work where we are
Forced to shine through gritted teeth and broken hope only because you are
”
— Entry 1: "Dis-Love", Shonelle Jay
“
Self conscious of my height
Of my nose, of my brown skin
Never saw myself on TV
Kids in school didn’t know my home country

Never felt like I was good enough
Ashamed of my anxiety
Craving love from my mom, a hug she never gave me
Only Filipino person in class
No one could relate to me
Feeling like an outsider at school
Why doesn’t anyone look like me?

Always feared white people and how they would see me
Am I human enough for them?
Am I even worthy?

No matter where I go, I know to stay true to myself
Because my brown skin, flat nose, and short stature
Makes me as beautiful as anyone else
”
— Entry 4: “Brown is Beautiful”, Daireen Kimpo
“
A step into the brisk, cool, air
Scorn and disgust behind every stare,
I plead with you, treat us equal and fair,
A human experience we all share,
Now see me stand, as I am”
— Entry 7 "As I AM"
“
An acronym that has become a word
Not just a word
A collective
A movement to break invisibility and silence
Tear down previously gate-kept ivy-colored walls
Giving acknowledgement and validation
The feeling of being fully seen and heard and appreciated
Building a network and a community advancing
Scholarship, best pedagogical practices
Student serving practices
For Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islanders
And in doing so,
APAHE
Is not just an acronym
Not just a word
Not just a collective
But a family
Nurturing all of us to grow into our best selves
And not job, in the words of Toni Morrison
When we get these jobs that we so brilliantly trained for
Is to help uplift others with less power
”
— Entry 8: "APAHE", Dr. Karen Chow
“
My world at the time existence; within the realm of a calendar
A stack of papers, but never seemed to highlight my tears and labor
A consistent schedule issued
By the superior court of South County Division
Yet consistently me with no precision
Arnold Medida: Monday, Tuesday
Lucy Medida: Wednesday, Thursday
Attending: Friday, Saturday, Sunday
My humanity ceased to exist as I always seemed
To be defined by what others see on ink and wood
”
— Entry 11
“
They tell us that what they are doing is justice
They tell me I’m a criminal
Dead man walking
In a small town in Arkansas
They don’t know what I am
I’m close to them, in skin,
But they know I’m not them

Messaging a girl
On an app
“I like your skin”
She says

Later, your white liberal
Friends will ridicule me
They say it is obvious
That I am up to no good,
They grin and say that I am a creep
That I have no future
I tell this to Allie,
And she tells me its them its not me

”
— Entry 14: Arkansas , Henry
“
Courage is found in Vulnerability,
Not in hiding our true selves
”
— Entry 20, Ying Lu
“
The world should be as beautiful as stars,
It reflects the nature of all creatures
Each bird, lion, flower, fish share the equal rights
No matter the people with different ethnicity
Be kind, united, supported to each other
Drop off the discrimination to Asian People
Stop creating trauma and damage to the world
We will live in love, peace, and kindness.

Asian culture is a shining star in civilization
Asian people are the clever, hard work human beings
As an important part of history
Asian people should live a equal world
”
— Entry 3, Angela Hr Zhou
“
Rice Cracker
A rice cracker, so thin and sweet,
So easy to love and easy to (b)eat,
Can shatter and break in just a snap,
Then left in the trash, like a bunch of scrap”
— Entry 7.5 Rice Cracker"
“
The further I go the harder it gets,
Deeper, deeper, deeper
Deeper than I’ve ever been
I just want this to end
They say the end is only the beginning of something now…
But it doesn’t excuse feelings continue to brew…
I tried and I try, again and again
I’m stuck in this loophole
There goes time again.
Here’s to my future self
It’ll get better again
Continue to breathe
Continue to more
Accept the growth and plant the seed from within
Mahal na mahal kita
Sarili kung nakakalimutan
Vo na…Hindi pa tapos ang
Laban huminga
Ka lang.
”
— Entry 10: "Time", Mark Gobasco
“
Together we make the majority
But we isolate and become the minorities.
Through unity and communication we could heal
So why are we quick to turn
The other way at one another’s suffering?
”
— Entry 12
“
Me and my cousins plan to skate,
Plan to play,
But didn’t expect oppression and hate,
We stood there,
Waiting for someone to help us,
But no one came and it hurt us
They were pushing,
And we were tumbling,
It is a sad reality,
But I want to be brave and believe,
Be a savior for me and my cousins
”
— Entry 16: "Skate"
“
We are born to equal but unique
Since, we are from different places,
Around the world with different background
Myself, I was born in Vietnam
With nature, food, traditional culture and clothes
I’m really proud to be a Vietnamese!
I love our traditional ao dai
It is how my country be unique
And different from other countries
”
— Entry 21, Lam Chau